Saturday, December 20, 2008

This is a Giant of Self Destruction.



There is no force or power compared to this giant of self-destruction. It is larger than all beasts and viruses together. Its small name is supposed to be an obsessive curse, that suffocates, poisons, corrupts and finally kills either by sadness, abandonment or melancholy. And does it with a cold smile and a disturbed glance. It is similar to madness, worse than fright and produces hopelessness and melancholy. The person can find in his path, gold, diamonds, philosophy, culture, doctrine and spiritual education but he will not do anything to improve. This force is worse and terrible, more tragic than losing a loved one. It is like having lost and abandoned everything. It is a negativity that interacts morbidly as a need. It is a cruel and treacherous force that goes between desires and wants. It is like being thirsty but not to have a mouth to drink. It is like wanting to run, but being chained. Like wanting to cry and being as a skull with empty eyes. It says: I want to embrace, but don't have arms. I want to see and I am blind. I am hungry and there is no possible food on earth or in the universe. I am cold and I live in the pole. I am in a very dark, closed hole and I can't get out, I can't escape, I try to shout and I shout desperately but I live in a world of deaf people. And if I was in the sea, the ship would sink and I would find fierce sharks around me. If I try to find faith, I keep confusing values and thinking that I don't deserve anything. I may think that I am sorry but later I will continue judging myself, something like hitting myself with a hammer. It is like being a nail, struck by a powerful obsession but the hole in the wall can't be open. I continue hitting and then nothing is left. I want to breathe and I feel that there is no air. The friends that I have left are now my enemies and now I feel that if they look for me is because they want to hurt me. I don't forget my path and I will continue turning the hands of the wind mill, but there is no wind, the well is dry and everything is cold and calculated, colder than a sword that I use to pierce my chest. What is the purpose of this great evil? Its name is small but powerful. If you ever find it, get your strength in faith and solidarity. Be true to yourself and win over this horseman of death, who is fast, astute and brings on his mind, the face of unceasing agony because is a wound that hurts more and more. Is a burden impossible to carry. Its name is the same hell. And is called: The ghost of the "Doubt"
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Mystic Healing Art

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